Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Expose this beast

Email me your stories of how Rupert the Black terrorized your childhood and I'll post it on this blog. If the pain is too deep you may choose to remain anonymous.

The truth must be told . . .

A couple years have passed since Rupert the black swan who lived in the Newport Harbor died from a boating accident involving the harbor patrol. The public's response was one of mourning for the loss of this non-indigenous wild animal who had called Newport Beach his home. While the untimely death of any wild animal is certainly regrettable, there is another side of Rupert that simply must be told. For any child who grew up around the Newport bay, driving paddle boats, building sandcastles, or swimming (this seemed less gross when I was younger), Rupert was a terror and a menace.

While older folk and those less involved with playing near the bay may have found the presence of a black swan in Newport to be a graceful contrast from the ubiquitous seagull, they don't know the whole story. For my sisters and all of my cousins who spent large amounts of time at our grandparents house on Newport Island during the summer, the death of Rupert was a glorious day on which we all felt better about the prospect of bringing our own children into the world--a world in which our children could visit their great grandparents house and play and be joyful without having to worry and watch for the red eyes of Rupert to round a boat and send every child scurrying for cover. Rupert will not be missed in my household, in my family, or in my extended family or in any of their generations to come.

I am starting this blog in the hopes of setting the story straight and to encourage the many children who grew up in Newport to come forward with their stories of the terrors of Rupert. The press will most certainly be against us, but be brave. The Daily Pilot's strong pro-Rupert stance must be overcome. I have hope that the truth shall prevail and Rupert will be exposed for what he really is, an evil black swan who spent his entire life terrorizing and attacking the young in Newport Beach.